May 1

I don't have a lot of irrational fears. One I do have, however, is that the sun is going to explode. More specifically, it's going to explode on me somehow. But I sort of imagine this is what it will look like when it does happen.

April 30, 2010

It's true I'd prefer all my food come in a bag with the calories clearly printed. I don't know why. Also, almonds are kind of great.

April 29, 2010

I bought a little FM transmitter for my car and I promptly broke it. Seriously, do not ever loan me anything you want to get back in the same condition. Babies, electronics, snacks...I am a monster who does not know its own strength.

April 28, 2010

So I realized that when I drive my work car I can just take a picture of the map display. I don't know if that's at all interesting but it's way better than a picture of the road.

April 27, 2010

Split pea & ham soup for dinner. This is surprisingly underrated. It has ham AND bacon in it.

April 26, 2010

YOU HAVE ONE EFFING JOB! It's to print my documents. And when you don't print my documents YOU ARE A WORTHLESS WASTE OF DESK SPACE! Wait. Baby, I'm sorry. C'mere. I didn't mean to yell. Huh? Why do you smell like toner? WHO HAVE YOU BEEN PRINTING FOR?!?!

April 24, 2010

My three Disneyland buddies. You'd think I'm a huge pimp, right? "He took three ladies to Disneyland! That's insane!" Yeah, I slept on the floor. Don't get too excited.

April 23, 2010

On the way to Disneyland. All smiles, as it should be. Of course this is about two and a half minutes before I made the one in front cry. What? Everyone knows girls get all emotional on the way to Disneyland...it's barely my fault.

April 22, 2010

This is what I do when I start to feel sick. Half a gallon of water, two airborne tablets, and as much sleep as I can get. Works every time.

April 21, 2010

They sell these at the store by my work. Look, I'm not proud that they probably refer to me as "malt ball guy". But don't judge. It's an addiction. I have this one friend and her friend wrote a poem about her love of Mike & Ike's.

/He said, hoping someone will write a haiku about his love of malt balls in the comments.

April 20, 2010

Getting dressed for our fancy work dinner. I looked sharp, if I do say so myself. Except my pants were a little too big. Is that a subtle enough way to tell you I've lost weight? I'M NOT AS FAT AS I USED TO BE! How was that?

April 19, 2010

Do you ever wonder if there are ghosts in your backseat and if they'll show up in photographs? Me either.

Related thought: do you suppose ghosts only show up on film? Or to digital cameras work, too?

Semi related thought: Do you people like horror movies? I don't. Drag Me To Hell was traumatizing. But I still think ghosts are alright.

April 18, 2010

Meta! This was the day I finally started catching up on all my posting responsibilities.

February 25, 2010

My friend Luis called with the hook up on 8th row Warriors tickets. After begging and texting everyone I knew to go with me, my brother finally took pity on me and came along. It was a very entertaining game. The highlight: my brother explaining why he'd trade anyone on the Warriors for Chris Andersen of the Nuggets and not two seconds later, Steph Curry made Chris Andersen look really, really stupid.

Second highlight: I yelled "That's racist!" a little louder than I meant to after a black player fouled another black player and a black ref made the call.

February 24, 2010

My computer is closed which I can only assume means I get to go home for the day. Right? Or maybe I only closed it because it was possessed and I thought I could trap the demon that way. Probably a 50-50 shot as to which scenario is right.

February 23, 2010

Work meeting. This was followed by a dinner, so, you know, sometimes working late isn't so bad.

February 21, 2010

No idea where I was, what I was doing, or why there are so many gd red lights going off on my dashboard. What the hell?

February 20, 2010

So, yeah, I was taking a nap at 6:00 pm. And I wasn't even in my own bed! See, I was housesitting for some friends in the city. But I had also just gotten a very large and painful tattoo that day. Why didn't I take a picture of the tattoo, you ask? My reply? Where were you when I needed you!!?!!?

February 19, 2010

Seriously, my best ideas come when my feet are up. And I'm not wearing shoes. That's also pretty crucial.

February 18, 2010

This is what I do when I close up shop at work. It looks like I'm punching in the code, right? Actually what I do is push a bunch of buttons until the alarm goes off, yell at the alarm company when they call, get out business cards and my ID to prove to the cops I work there, and then tell my co-workers I don't know what happened and that "something must be wrong with the damn thing again".

February 17, 2010

I was on my way to look at an apartment for rent. I loved it and live there currently. Yay! Happy endings! I heard they might make a Disney movie out of my story.

February 16, 2010

At my travel desk.

February 14, 2010

Valentine's Day and I'm hanging out with....my dad? That doesn't seem right at all...

February 13, 2010

Brian Williams, telling me about the Olympics. Olympic coverage really could not be any worse.

February 12, 2010

More of the old man. I forget what we were watching but I guarantee the volume was up really loud.

February 11, 2010

My dad. I was housesitting at the time, which ended up being a fair amount of just hanging out at my parent's house. It's cool.

February 10, 2010

February 9, 2010

Annie and I were riding BART to see Wicked. This was the third time I've seen it. Don't hate, it's good. As we were walking along Market St, Annie got cat called a few times. But the guys were geniuses about it. Instead of saying anything to her, and risk offending her or upsetting me, they simply complimented me on my taste in women. I couldn't be offended, and neither could she. So smart. Little did they know I went home alone that night. Haha! Eat a dick, complimentary street people.

February 8, 2010

Astute readers may notice I am driving different cars from time to time. Though yes, I am hella baller and beast, I do not own two cars. One of the cars is mine and the other is a work vehicle I drive occasionally.

February 7, 2010

Super Bowl! This must have been during one of the boring parts. My family seemed to be slightly pro New Orleans. And hey, they won. Does my family have enough combined magical powers to bend reality to our will? Yes, yes we do.

February 6, 2010

So my friends have humored me and helped to create a scoring system for measuring how well you'd do in an apocalypse. We call it the MASS (Measured Apocalyptic Survival Score) and it's based on a lot of different factors. Obviously basic survival skills, physical fitness, age, and intelligence all factor in. But what really divides people is what they're willing to do and their attachments to things and people. For example, one woman who's score we tried to calculate lost points because she had a pet dog but was not willing to eat it. In fact, she wanted to try and feed it! Sorry lady, we're deducting serious points for you lack of "do what it takes-ness".

So the average person is a 0. You can be plus or minus on either side of that number. If you're a huge fatty who's never been camping you'll probably end up in the minus. If you're an eagle scout, lone wolf type, congrats, here's a score in the pluses for ya.

February 5, 2010

Boring? More like snoring. It gets better. Honest engine.

February 4, 2010

Thus begins a really boring few days of shots while driving. Turns out I drive a lot at 6:00 pm. I'm starting to figure out ways to not make car pictures so boring.

February 3, 2010

Sometimes I have to travel for work. And when I do, I occasionally put my feet up and watch TV. In this case, the TV could be just a teeny bit bigger.

February 2, 2010

This is what it looks like. We're off to a rude start.

February 1, 2010

My coworker Hollie on the first day of the project. She's thrilled about it.